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Poetry for Shame Resilience

shame resilience poem

What is Shame Resilience?

In her book, I Thought It Was Just Me (but it isn’t): Making the Journey from “What Will People Think?” to “I Am Enough” Brene' Brown covers the effects of shame on women as it relates to her own experience and that of thousands of women in her research.

Her work on shame resilience (that ability to recognize shame when we experience it, and move through it in a constructive way that allowing us to maintain our authenticity and grow from our experiences) teaches us all specific practices and ways to manage shame with authenticity and wholehearted bravery.

Naming or recognizing shame when it shows up is a key ingredient in shame resilience.  When we try to ignore shame, or fail to recofnize it, it grows in power.  One of the great tools for naming shame in the book comes in the form of a poem.  This poem, by Vern Rutsala, identifies spaces where shame shows up in life with grace and honesty:


This is the shame of the woman whose hand hides

her smile because her teeth are bad, not the grand

self-hate that leads some to razors or pills

or swan dives off beautiful bridges however

tragic that is. This is the shame of being yourself,

Overcoming Insecurity in Relationships

Overcoming Insecurity

All too often insecurity gets in the way of healthy relationships.  It thrives on us feeling small and alone and can feel overwhelming to think about working through it.  Its like an unwanted houseguest who shows up unannounced, and reminds you of all your imperfections.  Its hard to shake them or set boundaries.

But the truth is, you can move forward with careful intention and action.  You can say no to insecurity.  You don't have to feel small.  Read through the list below to learn to deal with this unwanted guest with ease:

Acknowledge your insecurity- honestly.

There is no getting around insecurity- the only path is through it.  You need to admit that it's a real problem that is keeping you from loving healthy relationships with yourself and others.  Insecurity can be truly debilitating and isolating. Instead of letting it break you down in silence, name it to take some of it's power away.


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